25/7/2023
-
he makes my heart race with joy
and eyes brim with tears
but to have someone
who makes you feel
feel so intensely like never before-
that must be love
looking at him sets my heart aflutter
but on my worse days
his gaze only puts me at ease
and to have someone
whose mere sight
reassures your panicked heart-
that must be love
when your heart stutters
each time you see his boyish grin
but also clenches
when his anguish overwhelms him
to feel both joy and sorrow
for another as you would yourself-
that must be love
to relish in the way
his hair and skin feel under your touch
and each brush of fingers
warm against cold;
calloused against soft;
leaving you aching for more-
that must be love
to wake to thoughts of him
and chase dreams of him
as you drift off into sleep
and do to him
all the things you wish you did
but never had the courage to-
that must be love
to lie alone in your bed
as night falls
and the clock ticks on
and to sit at your desk
as the birds twitter
and the ticking never stops
to dream of him all the same-
that must be love
to buy him his favourite drink
and to cherish every last drop
of the one he bought you
despite hating the way
it sits at the back of your throat-
that must be love
to lick off the last crumbs
of the chocolate he gave you
even though you dislike
the saccharine sweetness
and stickiness on your fingers
only because
he gave it to you-
that must be love
to simply gaze into his eyes
and find him looking back
into yours as if
you hung the stars
in his darkest skies
and look away
to avoid his piercing gaze-
that must be love
i have loved but once
but oh, i loved so dearly-
loved the way he smiled, he laughed, he grimaced, he wept.
and every time,
all i wished for
was to be there
to love him and him alone
for all that he is
bared to his deepest roots;
for the world, bar me,
to never catch but a glimpse of;
to have a love so tender and affectionate
full of hopes and dreams,
yet devastatingly intimate
all our griefs and sorrows
shared as one.
and to ache for this all
and much, much more
more than you could
ever possibly fathom-
what could it ever be
if not love?
